Have you ever gone to the gas pump and concluded that a plastic grocery bag was the proper container for a couple gallons of gas? No?! Well, let’s talk about that, professional dick pics, how much Yoko Ono sounds exactly like a goat, armchair script writers that can outshine Breaking Bad, and more on today’s…

Remember that one time you and your friends got into a deep conversation about what it would be like to have accordions for legs? Wait, you don’t?! Fine. Let’s talk about that, running for your life while wearing Rollerblades, getting an expensive pocket knife confiscated because you’re an idiot, why you shouldn’t glue your vagina…

Did you know there’s an IG model with almost 500,000 followers who promotes drinking semen smoothies to boost your immune system… and also rub jizz on your face while you’re at it? Well, there is. Let’s talk about that, jumping off a three story hotel building into an 8-foot swimming pool, almost catching your house…

*** WE ARE AWARE OF THE AUDIO ISSUE ON THIS EPISODE. IT HAS BEEN ADDRESSED. *** Have you ever opened up a can of food and immediately thought to yourself, “You know what? I wish there was a human mouth with gnarly teeth in here.” No? Fine. But let’s still talk about that, a grandma…

Did you know that Dan was once a counselor for naughty kids? And then during a counseling session, he passed out and the naughty kids raided the medicine cabinet? hahaha… let’s talk about that, jerking off in a movie theater, a poor girl who woke up on the embalming table, having tastebuds in your butthole,…